I am no different than you. I worry. I fret. I get anxious. I wonder why bad things happen to good people. I also wonder why good things happen to bad people. Makes no sense at all. I care. I will go out on a limb for something or someone I believe in. I lie. But I favor quality over quantity. I will not tell the truth if it makes someone happy. I probably would lie to keep someone out of jail. Maybe I wouldn’t. Though I do know the difference between telling a friend that they have indeed become fat versus telling a police officer that my fat friend set his house on fire so that he could collect insurance money and spend it all on his dream of eating brunch in every country of the world. Maybe I am different than you.

Now, I do know this. I am no better than you. I have been fired before. At a radio station. The term he used was “let go.” That stopped the tears. But that was the longest job I’ve had in my adult life. Lasted a year. Twelve paychecks. And I don’t want to name-drop but I am going to because I’ve started to understand that gossip sells and if you know anything about me at all you know that I am all about the money. Look at the way I am dressed. George Lopez. He fired me. It was way before he had a show, but he was still quite popular in the clubs. Evidently, he didn’t enjoy the way I performed my twenty minutes of comedy the first night we worked together. I suppose it is the perfect example of the phrase “was it something I said?” He didn’t do it personally. The management of the club did. And they let me down easy. “Don’t come in the rest of the week. George doesn’t like you.” That stopped the tears.

We’ve both gone on with our careers. George on TV and me watching George on TV. Not really. Like I said, I will lie. Did I get enjoyment out of him getting fired from his talk show? If I said yes, that would mean that I hold grudges and can’t let go of the past and am petty. In short, human. To be honest, I didn’t mind it. In fact, when Iheard the news, I said to no one in particular, “Don’t come in the rest of the week. America doesn’t like you.”


Dave Little is a Dallas-based stand-up comedian, writer, musician and actor. He’s funny for Best of Texas twice a month, but he’s funny all the time on his website www.lovedavelittle.com.