Texas®

Comedian Dave Little is the newest edition to the team here at Best of Texas. As one of the funniest guys around, he’ll pop on a couple of times a month to let us know what’s going through that brain of his. Here’s Dave’s first post for us. Enjoy…

I am not interested in politics. I ran for student council in high school because I was under the impression we would have a longer lunch on the days that we met. That was not true. I think I was elected because I could keep a secret and played on the varsity basketball team. Those were my qualifications. My only contribution to the group was in the yearbook photo where I goosed the kid in front of me so he made a face while I looked on innocently. Wayne Newell was his name. I believe he became a dentist. Sorry for what I did, Wayne.

I am interested in politicians who get caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I believe that euphamism covers it all, whether it’s graft or greed or sexual misconduct. In fact, when I read about someone who is dressed down or publicly skewered, I want to buy them a beer. And some potato skins. Loaded. I trust people who make mistakes. I tell my kids that the worst thing you can do is not admit when you are wrong. And that you will never get in trouble for telling the truth. Okay, that’s probably something that will come back to haunt me: “Dad, I told my teacher that she was stupid.”

I am not interested in the things that politicians say to get elected. They hardly ever come true and are so generic that it’s hard to figure out if they were actually responsible for getting it done. How about a platform consisting of “I’m going to do the best I can and if your life isn’t better in the next two to four years I will give back what I was paid and resign from office but it is up to you to list the things that happened to you and why you consider it my fault.” You’re right. Wordy.

I am interested in everything being okay. I do like chaos as long as it is organized and doesn’t surprise me. I consider myself a liberal but my kids believe I’m a dictator and my wife is certain I’m a moderate and they are all correct. I am a social chameleon who speaks up when I shouldn’t and is a wallflower when it would be in my best interest to interact and make friends and be inquisitive. But if I don’t want to be like that, if it makes me uncomfortable, I would be less than genuine and I couldn’t live with myself. I’d be a phony. And that’s why I’m not interested in politics.

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Dave Little is a Dallas-based stand-up comedian, writer, musician and actor. He’s funny for Best of Texas twice a month, but he’s funny all the time on his website www.lovedavelittle.com.