Texas®

As you may have heard from the state’s advertising machine, Texas is like a whole other country – and, in fact as my teenaged daughter just pointed out, Texas was a separate country for ten years (1836 – 1846).

During that time and up to the present, various jurisdictions have enacted some of the weirdest laws known to man – or woman.

So, when you visit it’s a good idea to keep these laws in mind:

State law says it’s illegal to sell your eye – or any other human organ.

A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home – why not just the “B” volume????

In Abilene, it’s illegal to loiter in a public place for the purpose of flirting.

In Borger, it’s against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or riding crops, and explosive firecrackers of any kind.

In El Paso, appearing in public places wearing a “lewd dress” is prohibited. And, for you tobacco chewers, Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons.

In Mesquite, it’s illegal for children to have unusual haircuts – nothing is said about haircolor, though.

In Port Arthur, “obnoxious odors” may not be emitted in an elevator.

In San Antonio, it’s illegal to urinate on the Alamo. And, it’s illegal for people to flirt or respond to flirting using their eyes or hands.

In Temple, don’t steal cattle – thieves can be hanged on the spot. And, you are allowed to ride your horse in a saloon.

In Texarkana, you can’t ride your horse at night without tail lights – that may hurt your horse, though.

And, it’s important to follow the law on the gulf coast. In Galveston, “offensive gestures” aren’t tolerated at any public event, you must ride your bike at a “reasonable speed,” you aren’t allowed to land your plane on the beach and while your still aloft, it’s illegal to litter from an airplane.

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