Dear Dallas Observer,

I love you. Well, I’ve always loved you, but now I really love you. Though nothing will ever fill the void made when I lost frequent Sacks of Kittens, I still had Wilonsky and his uncanny ability to pen a scathing critique rife with the funny. When that Girl on Top – and friend – Andrea Grimes, parted ways with you, I knew I still had Schutze to depend on for my weekly dose of shenanigans. That Pete Freedman guy is doing a good job, too. Okay, okay, a great job.

But something was missing. Until today.

cassieAfter reading the always adept Richie Whitt’s amazing cover story about the rise and fall of one of Dallas’ biggest egos, Russ Martin, I was flipping through the rest of the weekly and stumbled upon such greatness that I just had to write to tell you…You’ve made me whole again. And who knew it would only take two feet and ten inches of little stripper madness to make me fall in love with you all over again?

I know you get a lot of flack for your adult ads, but hell, you gotta pay the bills, right?  God bless you Dallas Observer for reawakening so many memories for me.

The story goes like this:
See, many years ago I was on a road trip with my ex-husband. At approximately 4 a.m. we pulled into a truckstop diner for a bite and some much needed coffee. As I parked the car, I noticed a little person and her companion walking out of the diner. My ex-husband, in the passenger seat, was turned towards me, talking to me, and totally unaware of the little person and her companion who were now making their way between our car and another vehicle. As my ex-husband grabbed the door handle and began to open the door directly into the duo, all I could shout at the top of my lungs was, “Gene! Watch out for that midget!”

Seriously, that was one phrase, albeit un-PC, I never thought I’d utter in my lifetime.

Now it gets weirder. Fast forward ten years. I meet my very best friend in the universe. She  is obsessed with little people. She’s always wanted to see a little person, um, sans clothing. Sadly we had a large falling out over a guy, but happily the guy is no longer an issue and we have reunited! So, this morning when I ran across the ad for Little Sassy Cassie the 2’10″ stripper as seen on Springer, the first thing that popped into my mind was, “Watch out for that…little person!”

I so totally know where I’m dragging my best friend this weekend!

Thanks so much, Dallas Observer.



P.S. You too can see Little Sassy Cassie LIVE at Jaguars in ft. Worth Fri and Sat. You need to look for details in the DO, I refuse to send you to a naughty addy.

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