If you or someone you love lives, works or plays in the Austin, Texas area, please be alert at all times. Zombies, or reanimated human corpses, have been spotted on or near Austin roadways. TXDOT is NOT amused.
Sources close to the Texas Department of Transportation tell me they suspect the sudden influx of zombies can be directly linked to an announcement made just days ago regarding the production of a new musical based on the Michael Jackson album “Thriller” and the video for the title track which features several hundred dancing zombies.
How to identify a zombie:
Zombies are mindless, unfeeling monsters with a hunger for human brains and flesh.
Zombies can sustain damage far beyond that of a normal, living human.
Zombies are contagious and can pass whatever syndrome that causes their condition onto others.
Zombies are often seen in mobs and waves.
Zombies typically exhibit signs of rotting flesh, discolored eyes, and seeping wounds.
Zombies move with a slow, shambling gait.
Zombies are incapable of communication and show no signs of personality.
If you do come in contact with a zombie, follow this simple but important step to insure your safety:
SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD.
Tx. Dot was not amused, but most of Austin was. The sign had been placed there to warn motorists of road conditions, but It had been there for quite awhile and most motorists could tell something’s up by all the orange cones and barracades in place. In these hard economic times, with all the bad news we hear about every day, it was refreshing to be able to get a chuckle.